Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My name is Garto, Harry Garto pt. 6

Sorry all for the big time gap between the posts but believe me when i say this final installment of the Japanese epic adventure is well worth the wait. As you read through all parts of this journey you are probably thinking "what did the guys actually go to Japan for?". Allow me to explain that any shenanigans that occurred are purely unmotivated and unplanned, well most of them, and as anybody would know on going on a sporting tour that there is a fair bit of down time between the basketball, resting and eating. So we kept ourselves occupied and sane by entertaining ourselves. The usual suspects that include yours truly were the main culprits, but with some unlikely guests making some cameo appearances made this a joyous occasion. If i offend anyone with this piece, i apologize in advance, but i will try not to (quote) "sully" anyone's name on the internet for all to see (unquote), in the following. (Quote) Seriously!!! (Unquote).

First things first, as i believe i should explain the red ninja that keeps appearing in all my photos. I am not associates with this dangerous character but had the pleasure of watching some of his fine work. One night after bumping into a ninja gang at the hotel, all of who were wearing multicoloured mask (the red ninja being the most dangerous), i was forced too laugh at their ridiculous poses in the hall way. Now one thing you must know about ninjas is that if you can see them they aren't a real ninja, however these ones were, (and with my unique "spidey-sense" that i have developed after a school science experiment trip), i could tell that they were real ninjas and i was able to take a few snaps and post them on facebook.

Soon after i was feeling peckish so i decided to go on my nightly jaunt to the mall to collect some coke and pocky supplies. I was once again confronted by the red ninja and his green sidekick. I couldn't believe the shopping center security allowed the ninjas to roam free in the mall with their masks on. I thought they were in trouble for sure. I snuck up on the awesome red ninja while he was opening a door for some old people and heard him utter the phrase "ar-ri-ga-to for coming", but he said it in an Aussie accent, and with the obvious bi-lingual talents i knew this ninja was no ninja to mess with. I also overheard him explaining to people how he was a professional ninja and he served in Vietnam. Fears confirmed, this ninja was not one to mess with.

Suspicions were far from over as i followed the red and green ninja back to the hotel, i actually managed to get a video of what i am about to explain. You may remember me earlier telling you about the dancers in front of the windows, well here is the ending to that story. As i used my bat skills that i learnt while i was in Gotham City, i managed to slip my super spy camera to a member of the public to take a video of this silky smooth ninja in action. The red and green ninja looked like they were going to practice their moves in front of the window. What a treat, it was absolutely fantastic to see them in full flight. The green ninja let off an ancient ninja warrior dance, one so rare i had only ever seen up in a trip to Geraldton.

The red ninja was obviously a defined dancer and well trained in martial arts as he started with a move that i had only read in books, it resembled the running man, and the red ninja had mastered it. Next he intrigued us with the ancient one legged stalk dance, and then the grand finale, we were spectacled by the finishing move which looked bio mechanical. I can only describe it to you as the robot. They pulled it off well and definitely an experience that will never be forgotten. The red ninja was toned, charismatic and had a certain charm that reminded me of someone close to me. I didn't see the ninjas for the duration of the trip, as i am sure they had warrior duties to tend to. But if you know of where they can be found, get an autograph and e-bay it.

The last night of the trip as in any other, always brings the best stories to the table. The night started with a couple of speeches from the staff explaining the giant learning curve that we had just experienced during the week. It was also a sad time as we presented Hiroshi with a signed Wheelcats singlet, the pollen count must have been high this night as a lot of eyes started to water. We all moved to the dining area for the after tournament party, food was great, beer was plentiful and company was great. But the consumption of alcohol was the beginning of many problems for some, problems that lasted well into the next day.

As we headed up into our rooms after the party, we were faced with the decision of going up to the penthouse bar for a drink or staying in one of the rooms to continue the minor celebrations. We chose to stay in the rooms for now and try upstairs later. The party was almost marred by the inexplicable act of a cookie monster, or in our case a potato chip monster, disguised as a cross between Mr. Potatohead and Mario wearing pink undies on his head. But with wrongful accusations being flung around like a wet rag and apologies being accepted we finally got things underway.

If i learnt one thing from Japan it was when you hang around any of the Cats, either where a protection cup or watch your genital region. Things started off playful as they always do, a few harmless nut slaps here and there. But you just don't know what to expect, and how to react. I mean do you want the guilt on your mind that you physically beat someone who is part of a wheelchair sporting team. Well when it comes to Brant G, you just don't care, and after he grabbed a fist full of my future parenthood making potion sack it was on. Fists were flying to groinal regions, until a champion prevailed. A champion by the name of Lee.

But the champion made a mistake of calling a New South Welshman a Queenslander, i was dealt with harshly as i fell victim to a 6 man dog pile, and the total weight on that bed would have been in excess of half a tonne, at least. Next was Saki fever, (note: Saki tasted like everyone's cooking in an apartment block, that plus hot sick). I sipped mine until i finished as it is pure Japanese evil, but not as evil as the man serving it up, a man known by the local Japanese as Himsikogawa (means evil man with poisonous bottle). Two Cats fell victim to the old switcheroo, where the evil man in question (Ben E) served up Saki in innocent looking water bottles to victims clearly in need of water. Victim 1 - chugged then chucked, victim 2 - witnessed first victim being hosed, laughed, then got done by the same trick 15 minutes later. He drank, then unphased continued drinking.

Myself and a character that i will call "Sully" for this story for character conservation and preservation purposes, went up to the penthouse bar where the drinks were bloody expensive. Reasonably sauced i bought the first drink, i decided to teach the bartender a lesson. I made our own drinks and gave them names, a little Aussie experience for my little Japanese friend. Only read on if you will forever call the next drink a "Flaming Moe", i mean damn, that's taken. How bout, "Ninja Special", the Ninja Special is one part Jack, one part Kahlua and the rest cola. Smooth as, and for you North of the river bogans maybe you can try Baileys and Cougar (if you can afford it). The drinks set me back about $42 aus, rort. After this myself and Sully headed back down stairs.

Now, the story of "1616". This was the room where numerous men were seen coming from this room nightly, and given it was the team meeting room, i believe this is no excuse. I will not mention the name of the person who stayed in the room, as to protect the innocent character that this deceptive person displays. A couple of memorable moments followed which include finding a fan that had the words "Route Inn Hotel" on it, (funny name for a hotel), and some bastard wrote on in it "Room 1616 Rhiga Royal to" in front of it.. Bastards. Oh, and when i pushed this particular person into their room (not realising Brant G followed, it was pitch black), took my jeans and shirt off and walked out into the hallway as if i just had a "great time". Brant followed doing the same, so very convieniantly looked like i had done the hell bound deed, (quote) "Congratulations you just f^cked Brant" (unquote). Great...

Needless to say there where some sore heads by the end of the night and way into the next morning. We had to be up at 6am for a 9am flight home, but for the first time after a party and traveling home after, i was sober. Not surprising as the trip home took 23 hours back to Perth.

Well this marks the end of the Japanese Epic Adventure, hopefully you had fun reading as i had fun writing. Just ask yourself "Who is Harry Garto?" next time you ponder about true champions and keep an eye out for any red ninjas. Till next time my oriental followers..

In hoops,


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